Prayer for my Dad

Preface:
These days life seems to be so heavy on my shoulders. Not quite sure what it is, but I feel as if I may just breakdown eventually. I maintain composure for my family and most of all because I know You are holding me close Jesus. I trust You with every ounce of my being.... much more than I would ever trust myself or anyone else for that matter. Now my dad is reading this book which is only enabling him to run from you and focus on What is wrong with Christians and Christianity. Somehow he has missed the point that Christians are mere humans who have realized that they are failures who need you. With that said, I'll get to my request.

For years I have watched my dad struggle with You. For years I had faced the same struggles; the giving up of my self and enjoying You as my God instead of me. The freedom of having You in control is so amazing that even in my grief I can still feel the joy and peace that only You can bring. I can understand the feelings he goes through and the excuses he tells himself to avoid You and justify his actions. I have seen him in so much anger and in so much pain at different points of my life. I know of past regrets, yet he still holds on. He knows of You and of Your goodness but cannot give up the reigns fully. For years I have also seen him grow closer and closer to to the Truth. He grew more kind and gentle and giving. He became more full of love and less full of bitterness and anger. While he still held on to these things that chain him to this world I slowly saw the chains breaking free. Now this? As I write this I can hardly see through the tears... these tears that I know come from You over someone who is losing his way. It seems like he's always wanted an out, a reason to denounce You and Christianity. How easy for him to find something that will help him justify this in his time of anger. How easy for him because he won't have to admit his sins and his failures if he's too busy looking at others sins and failures. My heart grieves over him as I see him taking way too many steps back... to many to count. He's usually been a one step forward two steps back and more recently I think I only saw progression. Now this Lord?! Please I beg of You to open his eyes. I know You've been trying since the day of his birth, but I pray that he will finally understand and see Your true beauty. I desire for him to have the same freedom You have given me. The freedom from himself. I'm not sure how much more I can watch him fight you Jesus. The anger he holds onto when he's not walking with You is too much to bare. I lift him up in prayer to You. Please Lord Jesus, don't let him go. No mater how much he fights and pushes You away, chase him and hold him close until he sees Your grace.